Teenagers go through many changes from age 13 to age 19. The first year as a teenager, getting a drivers’ license, acne, prom; the list goes on and on. During the six-year timeframe of teen years, emotions run high and deep due to hormonal and biological changes, and the stress of dealing with others and deciding where to go to college or if to attend college at all can cause duress as well. Many internal battles and discomforts happen, but the anger felt can be controlled in various ways.
Self awareness is the first step for a teenager attempting to manage their emotions. Oftentimes feelings rush over an individual, and hurtful words are said before thinking occurs. If one takes the few seconds necessary to think before speaking and discover why they feel the way they do, then their emotions make sense, and communication to avoid hurtful feelings can take place. A helpful formula to follow is this: I feel _____ because _____.
Step two for managing anger is self control, which is very similar to self awareness. Self control also requires the pause to assess feelings before acting but includes thinking of how to react. It is important to reflect on the different options available for a reaction. It is helpful to consider three options before moving to action. Still before acting, consider the consequences of each of the three scenarios. This is step three in a five-step anger management process.
The fourth thing to do is to choose the best of the three options considered and act upon it. A pause has been taken to decide three ways to react and the repercussions of those actions were considered. A decision is made and acted upon.
The final step in the process is to look back on how things ended. Reflect on the actions that were taken and decide if things could have been handled differently. That is the only way to learn and improve anger management. If something was said that hurt feelings, another way to handle the situation can be tested next time. Situations do not always end the way intended, but they can be learned from. The best way to learn is by experience.